DO not allow yourself to be manipulated by the user. It is NOT your fault that they are not in control of their lives.
They will be going through an emotional roller coaster themselves also. Also know that if they were heavy users, it may take a month of abstinence before they return to anything near normal. FOR THE FAMILIES AND FRIENDS OF METH AND ADDICTS DO' S and DON' TS DO talk to someone who understands drug addiction. DO learn about yourself, your needs, desires, reactions and behavior patterns. DON' T believe that you are the cause of the other person's drug addiction. DON' T protect the addict from drug situations whether using or in a program of recovery. It may reduce the crisis, but it will make my illness worse.
DO maintain a healthy and consistent atmosphere in your home as much as possible. DON' T make an issue over the addict's choice of treatment. Above all, don't run away from reality as I do.
Some addicts get an extra thrill out of being able to "get by with it." Another thrill is "I got over on them." Or "I'm cool, see what I can get away with?
" These things are real and some addicts take this activity to a high level of refinement.
Do take care of your needs and let the addict take care of his/her needs. DO be committed to your own growth, health, and life goals - be constructively self-caring. Like you, he/she has the right to choose what he/she wants. Drug dependence, my illness, gets worse as my using continues.
DON' T rescue - let the addict clear up his/her own mistakes and assume the responsibility for the consequences of his/her using behavior. Start now to learn, to understand, to plan for your own recovery.
Then, whatever the outcome, at least you will have fun, and some good stories, on the way. See your first date as a little taster meeting with another human being. It is fairly normal to discuss your marriage breakdown on the first date. Most men I dated asked me at the end of the first one for a second. Muddy Farmer told me he had very much enjoyed our date when we parted, then called me up that evening to see how I thought our date went and to ask me if I'd like to meet up again.
On the day of your first date you will be nervous, and so will the other party, but if you see it as a taster, it takes the pressure off. I wouldn't get the job and there was no second date. Both people are generally pretty shocked to find themselves in this situation and, after talking about the weather and the challenges of getting down the A303 or whatever, it is probably the first significant thing you have in common. I thought this was a classy merger of sensitivity and confidence. Your date will be able to see if you have been back on the dating site where you met, so beware as you begin a relationship. Read All High50's Dating Articles How To Write An Online Dating Profile That Actually Gets You Dates A New Lover: Does He Want Sex Or Not?
This sounds cold but it is actually the opposite as you need to realize that you must take care of you.
DO understand the dynamic of the relationship between the addict and their addiction.
Some addicts become exceptionally skillful at hiding use. Find Families Anonymous, Nar-Anon, Al-Anon or Co Da; those groups exist to help people in just your situation.